******* REVIVAL FIRE!!! *******
THE SAGA OF THE WOUNDED WARRIOR
The warrior was clothed in black with gold armor shield and sword. She ran ahead of the troop to plot the course of the oncoming army as the Commander in Chief had entrusted her with the responsibility to spy out the land. She loved to go to the high point to look out of the country that they had been sent to free from the enemy's clutches. On the jagged, jutting out promontories she could see the farthest, the way would shine forth more clearly than from the valleys. She followed the voice of her master, as He directed the course of the battle and the strategic advances into His tormented and enslaved nation. She loved to run free and quickly and to keep encouraging the others to keep going, to keep pressing onward. The smell and then taste of victory against the evil enemies of her lord's kingdom was sweet. She was even learning to trust her master so far as to jump off of some of those high places and to fly with wings as an eagle. What a sweet awesome joy to float above the land and fly free and high. She could see much farther and clearly when she was not tied down to the land.
And so, the course was set, the race was started, but she noticed that each time she leapt ahead it became a little more painful. That inside of her there was a wrenching and a wounding that would cause her to plummet to the ground like a wounded bird of prey. She could not understand how such freedom and such joy could be so painful. Did that not contradict all the promises of the Master? He said that His yoke was easy and His burden was light. Then why, oh why, was there such suffering to obeying His voice, to going where He bid her to go? She kept asking Him, beseeching Him to either take the flights or take the pain. It was becoming too much to bear. And He said, look within yourself my child. Look into your inner man and ask me to show you the truth of YOUR inner man, to seek the true cause of the pain.
She asked, in a hesitant way at first, not sure she wanted an answer, in truth she sensed it would bring more pain. Finally there was no place to go except to honesty. She asked, she truly asked and what she saw was a shock to her. As she looked down, she realized that she had been deeply cut across her abdomen, and like a gut shot soldier, there was a gaping wound from which her insides were spilling out. Unconsciously, she had one hand across the opening to keep the wound, and the pain inside. Somehow she had been trying to be there for others while being mortally wounded herself. Her Lord told her to keep looking for truth. What she saw then made her want to throw up. The insides were coated with gruesome decaying matter, a horrid repugnant slime that made her want to gag. It was enough to make one want to pull everything out with the other hand but that would truly mean death and that was not why this truth was revealed. Her Lord showed her that before she came into His army she had been crawling in the muck and filth and yea had even been a camp follower, a woman of no morals for the enemy's army. Again she wanted to throw up but his grace and mercy kept her from this despair. He said, in the travels you made, as well as those of your family, you receive unto yourself filth grime and sin of all kinds but you have held yourself so closely against me that it has been impossible for me to cleanse and heal you of this evil.
Open yourself up to me let me touch this mortal wound and I will heal and restore you, to mold you into the warrior you should have been before you took these paths of darkness and despair. And so, she cried out for deliverance because as much as she feared dying from the cleansing, realizing what was inside of her in her most innermost parts was even more unbearable.
I WILL WAIT, I WILL B FAITHFUL, I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU
That became her heart cry as she awaited the time of healing and deliverance from her bondages. For you see, when the wounds go to the core, there must be a time of preparation and of setting oneself apart. She prayed and she fasted, she set her heart and body to follow only the will of Her master, that her selfish will and desires would no longer hold sway in her life. She asked for the Lord to help her to yield and open herself up to His touch, His healing. She did not know how to pull down the walls that encased her heart and soul against that most loving of touches, that of the Creator lovingly doing surgery on that which He had created.
The day for the reckoning came, and it was better and worse than the warrior thought it would be. She prayed and asked for forgiveness for the many things that He showed her
she had done against Him and His perfect will for her life. The process took time but with each word spoken, ropes were cut and chains were snapped off. Each commitment to His truth, to His will brought more and more freedom. And yet, even then, cleansed and forgiven, the wrenching pain was still there. How inconceivable and yet how real became the fact that she herself was the thing blocking Him from completely healing her.
How is it possible for one to make a choice to hang on to those things that were killing her body and even her very soul? And in His grace, he revealed to her the answer she sought. Surprisingly, it was something He had shown her before but there had only been a token or surface relinquishment of this stronghold. When she was in her mother's womb, she knew that she was not wanted, was not welcomed with loving arms into this world. And so she chose death, she chose to not stay, in fact decided to rebel against the Lord's plans for her. Fear, anger, lust for control all had their parts in this rebellion, the fruit of which was to be produced for several decades, each subsequent decision based upon these initial choices. Underlying all of these things was the ultimate fear of abandonment. There it was the root cause of so many bad choices, reactions of fear.
For we all know that if we first reject that which we think will reject us, we try to keep abandonment, pain and fear under control. What an abyss of pain, no trust, no hope, no peace, no joy with any kind of consistency in her life. No wonder the wound had gaped bigger and bigger, the sins of pride, the offenses to and from others all combined to make the wound seem infested as if with maggots. There was only one way to go, to continue like this would infinitely make death seem preferable to life. She prayed forgiveness for her part of this mess, forgave others for theirs and released herself fully and totally to Her Lord's perfect will for her life.
And so, He was faithful to do all He had promised her, He first forgave and then cleansed and healed that most ancient of wounds. His healing balm and love were the anointment to further work the healing grace into her life. There was yet one more problem, He went to take her in His arms, and she could not receive it.
He said, it is alright, this is the way, look into my eyes, this is the truth, look into my eyes and you will see you. For you see, she still did not know how to receive love, to trust that she would not be abandoned again. Again, He said, this is the way, just look in my eyes, this is the truth, and you will see you. The fires of His eyes was burning, the fires in His eyes melted her, melted every frozen wall, tore down every edifice she had so carefully erected against Him and anything that had caused pain. She repented of that also and promised to let Him be the walls that protected her from everything. He said look into My eyes, she realized that in His eyes she saw herself, as He saw her, whole, healthy and healed. He took off her rags and clothed her in beautiful garments. He gave her a scepter and a sword, His word and a crown of great beauty, all these things gave glory to what He had done, the healing He had wrought. What an awesome, loving, passionate Lord we have the privileged to serve. He is the Lover of our Souls. Now, He awaits you, His other wounded warriors to come and be healed and made whole. Oh, beloved of the Lord, do not wait, do not tarry, for His love and passion is not something to trifle with, to postpone, for the Hound of Heaven is ever seeking us, His passion and love for us coursing thru His veins. He will not stop; He will not be deterred from obtaining all of You. Oh yield and be the creation He created you to be. The Spirit and the Bride say, COME!!
As to the end of the warrior's story, the Lord, for now, has her wrapped in His blanket of love , He has put her enemy in a sling and cast him far away from her. She will rest in the shadow of His wings and work anew on flying on some future day. In peace and rest He has brought her, in peace and rest she shall serve Him all her days. No more striving, no more warring within herself, when the time is right she will go out in His strength and rest and help the army advance all the way into the promised land. And remember, what He does for the least of us, like this warrior, He will do for all of us, including you!
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