[revival-fire] Give Me More More...

******* REVIVAL FIRE!!! *******

 

Now,

 

          A couple of years ago I had myself into all sorts of binds.  I was broke with a job, no car, a crummy apartment with a roomate who hated me and was trying to get me fired, no food except for a bag of rotting potatoes that I found under the sink and tons of drugs.  When I got out of that bind I found myself right back at home, where I started, with nothing or no one for anything.  I went outside late one night, looked up to the sky, and made a deal with God.  I didn't know it at the time but He had been following me silently, like the loving Father that He is, waiting for years for this single moment in my life.  I knew what He wanted...He wanted me.  That's all He ever wanted.  I looked up to Him and made a deal that if I were to give my life to Him and lay myself down into His hands that I wanted Him to take me all the way.  I told Him that I wanted it all, I wanted to be it all, I wanted to see it all, I wanted to do it all and nothing less.  Since then, years later absolutely nothing has changed since then...

 

           I was always one of those kids that bit off way more then they could chew.  I always ordered huge meals, always wanted too much time to do something, and always asked for more then I could handle.  To this day I am still one of those kids.  Where most stop and say "oh that's nice" I am completely and utterly distracted by the fact that there's still more.  Some people say "I want more Lord, give me more of You", I say "I want ALL of you Lord, even if it kills me (please let it kill me, I could be the first person in all of history to implode and dematerialize from the raw revelation of Jesus)"...

 

           Even nowadays, being in a congregation that is on the cutting edge of what God is doing weeks before anybody else catches up I still want more.  And the more I look around and see the things we do and hear the things we say I feel as if I'm watching it unroll for the first time but as if I'm ten years down the road when we'll all be asking ourselves "what were we thinking".  The new feels outdated and old to me and still nothing wows me to the point a volcano exploding in my heart.  Everytime someone gets healed I immediately think about those who have not, everytime someone's saved I look at the unsaved, etc etc.  And now here I sit with a whole lot of good stuff on my plate and all I can think about is what I don't have...

 

           This isn't selfishness or ungratefulness, on the contrary the Lord knows that I know how incredibly blessed I am, for it truly is a fearful thing to fall in the hands of the living God.  BUT...none of this will do.  I will gladly give up everything I have for more and this is what He's been doing in me and through me lately.  He's offered me a quiet and humble faith in His presence instead of His tangible manifest presence to prove it to me.  He's offered me the best in exchange for the good, and I'm making the trade.  Don't get me wrong, I will miss these days.  I will always remember them with the upmost respect and awe.  These Glory Days were absolutely pivotal in my life, night after night of drooling and gaping at the awesome eternal bliss of my King, and surely more nights will follow, but I'm leaving this familiar boat for the unfamilar sea.  Dropping anchor in the absolute unseen and trusting that there is something there.  I choose to believe and die believing if I must.  I have to cuz if I don't I fear no one ever will.  No more fancy king's food, I desire the food of doing the Father's will and I will not, can not, must not rest until EVERYTHING is done and EVERYONE has come to Him...

 

Nothing Less But A Whole Lot More,

 

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